


Yellow Tulips

by exodays



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, I’m so sorry, M/M, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, completely not fact-checked medical advice/info, hanahaki disease au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 12:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19006279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exodays/pseuds/exodays
Summary: Jongin began to love yellow tulips, but he loved Kyungsoo more.





	Yellow Tulips

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first work and i’m so sorry this is sad!! :( but i hope you enjoy bc i tried HAHA also for those who don’t know what this “disease” is:
> 
> Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear. (fanlore.org)

“Kyungsoo sunbae!” Jongin eyes lit up as the familiar face of his college senior caught his eye. Jongin was eating with his group of friends, and Kyungsoo noticed that too. He gave him a small smile and wave before heading off quickly for his next class. Jongin felt a little disappointed by his senior’s lack of enthusiasm but brushed it off. After lunch, he sat down next to a toilet bowl of petals.

“Kyungsoo hyung, what are you gonna do now?” Jongin asked curiously, trying to pry Kyungsoo’s attention off of the flowerbed. “I’m gardening,” Kyungsoo answered, his focus still on the flowers. “Can I join?” Jongin asked excitedly, earning himself a nod from Kyungsoo.

The both of them were bent over the large flowerbed of yellow tulips. Kyungsoo held a small pair of shears, carefully pruning the bush. Meanwhile, Jongin was watering the tulips, however, his eyes were sneaking glances at Kyungsoo’s side profile. Man, does he even know how calm and peaceful he looks right now? I have to start gardening with him more often, he thought. 

“Why do you only grow yellow tulips?” Jongin asked, breaking the silence between them. It had been a month since they started an unspoken agreement to garden at Kyungsoo’s house on Thursdays. It became a habit. Kyungsoo’s had a smile on his face as he said, “My mother loves them. She’s unbelievably happy and bright; her favourite colour is yellow, like the sun,” Jongin could have sworn his heart skipped a beat as he stared at Kyungsoo’s heart-shaped lips.

It was two weeks after the ‘The Heartbeat Skip’, as Sehun - Jongin’s best friend - had eloquently named it. Jongin’s eyes widened when he saw Kyungsoo drink from the same glass as him. “I guess my ice lemon tea does really taste like my mother’s,” The boyish grin on Kyungsoo’s face made Jongin internally squeal. Did he just drink from my glass? Is he even human? Jongin couldn’t help but return Kyungsoo’s grin with his own bright smile. 

Jongin arrives home, tired but with a fluttery heart as his mind replays the short moment of Kyungsoo’s grin. He lies on his bed, smiling like an idiot as he tried to process the day. Suddenly, he felt sick. He rushed to the toilet and began to throw up. He saw those cheerful, yellow petals and began to cry.

It had been five months since they started gardening together. The days became colder, and they both began to pile on more layers to keep warm. “Should we not garden today? My hands are freezing and I would seriously prefer to be inside and drinking tea,” Kyungsoo asked, playing with the tassels of his mustard-coloured scarf. Jongin nodded eagerly, not minding what they were doing as long as it was with him. When he heard Kyungsoo’s melodious laughter along with the crackling of fire, he decided that he’d want to spend many more winters with Kyungsoo. And maybe gain the courage to wipe the foam off of his upper lip. 

They both felt extreme satisfaction that spring brought about many more tulips which had bloomed beautifully. (Jongin thinks that it can’t compete with Kyungsoo though.) He finally met Kyungsoo’s mother, who profusely thanked him for taking the time to help her son with gardening. She didn’t know that Jongin should be the one to thank her for giving them something that they could do together. Jongin excused himself to the bathroom. He hid his handkerchief of yellow petals in his coat pocket.

Jongin decides that he would confess to Kyungsoo after mid-terms. He had it all planned out - he would cheekily tuck a tulip behind his ear (which still couldn’t compete with Kyungsoo’s beauty), and he would tell him that he likes him and wants him as his boyfriend. He can’t keep a straight face during Thursday’s Economics lecture, and his friend, Sehun, begs to know the reason behind Jongin’s constant smile. He keeps it a secret from Sehun, wanting to keep his confession plan under wraps for now. He couldn't stop glancing at the clock, waiting for the minutes to turn into hours. After the lecture ended, Jongin threw his bag over his shoulder and rushed out of the hall.

He was very alert now. His eyes quickly scanned the hallways, searching for his very own small happiness. His eyes zeroed in on the blue grey sweater he saw Kyungsoo wearing this morning. He brisk walked towards him and slung his arm over his shoulder. “Hyung, should we garden today? I miss-” He turned his head down only to see an unfamiliar face. It wasn’t Kyungsoo. It was one of the seniors whom he had never talked to. “Sorry, sunbae-nim,” He quickly ran away, his eyes searching carefully for Kyungsoo again. 

He saw Kyungsoo walking along the corridor, and wanted to run up to him. He stopped himself, noticing a girl who had her arm linked with Kyungsoo’s. He took a deep breath, before walking up to him, “Hey hyung,” Jongin kept a cheerful tone. “Jongin-ah! I don’t think we can garden today… I forgot about my date with Minsoo,” The girl, Minsoo, playfully nudged him as he said that, and Kyungsoo smiled sheepishly at her. “Ah… She’s your girlfriend? You should’ve told me, hyung,” Jongin tries to hide his dejectedness behind his sheepish smile, but his eyes betrayed him. Kyungsoo had a concerned expression before asking gently, “Are you really that upset? Sorry Jongin, I didn’t really know when to tell you,” Jongin waved his hands, before mumbling, “No worries.” Kyungsoo and Minsoo walked away and Jongin immediately felt sick. He rushed to the nearest bathroom and began to regurgitate. He loved yellow tulips, because it reminded him of his happiness, Kyungsoo.

He arrived home and began to cry in his room. He couldn’t help but feel so pathetic. He had fallen in love by himself, without ever considering that Kyungsoo may have had different preferences. The amount of times he vomited increased, and he was starting to see blood come out with the petals. 

His mother stopped him in front of the door before leaving for his lecture the next morning. She held up a zip-lock bag full of those beautiful yellow tulip petals. She wore an angry expression on her face before walking closer to him, arms akimbo. “How long has this been going on, Jongin?” He stayed silent, staring embarrassedly at the floor. He realised that his mother was not going to take silence as an answer. 

“One year.” He said quietly. 

His mother began to cry. “Don’t you know what happens to people with that disease? They die, Jongin!” He finally realised the reality of his situation. “We’re going to find you a doctor and treat you immediately.” His mother grabbed her bag and they went to the nearest hospital.

The doctor sighed after hearing Jongin’s explanation and physical examination. “We can do a surgery to get rid of the flower and small roots that are growing inside you. However, any existing romantic feelings with that person will also be removed as your phenylethylamine levels will decrease and thus your strong emotion towards that person will disappear.” Jongin felt his heart sink. 

He began to make excuses not to garden with Kyungsoo, saying that he had to study, or he was going out with family. Kyungsoo began to grow suspicious, but decided that he had his own problem to deal with and that he would patiently wait for the right time. And especially since he decided to break up with his girlfriend. 

Just before he went for his surgery, he asked his mother if she could keep yellow tulips in the vase placed on his hospital room bedside. She argued with him for a while before she relented, deciding that her son deserved that much after suffering for a year because of his one-sided love. He smiled and said that one of the complications is that he may lose the ability to love again. She slapped him on the shoulder and began to tear up, saying how childish he is for trying to scare her like that. 

It was autumn, and Jongin was throwing leaves at Sehun, who threatened every year to cut off all ties with him if he did it one more time. Kyungsoo sat at a nearby bench quietly, reading his textbook before taking his attention off to look at Jongin’s bright smile and hear his bubbly laughter. He had not talked to Jongin in months, and didn’t know why he was being ignored. He was too shy and embarrassed to ask him what was wrong, so he chose to just distance himself and just steal glances at him when he saw Jongin around campus. 

He felt quite empty, gardening the bright yellow tulips, which had seemed to lose their brightness without Jongin there caring for it. His mother, too, began to question Jongin’s absence, asking why he didn’t come and when he would come back. But Kyungsoo honestly didn’t know either. He had only heard that Jongin was in the hospital for two weeks because of a surgery, and felt upset that Jongin didn’t tell him. 

“What about your girlfriend, what was her name? Minsoo? What happened to her?” His mother asked him, as she placed another piece of meat on his plate. They were at the dinner table, and Kyungsoo felt embarrassed to explain what happened out loud. But the anticipation and tension was unbearable. “I never fell in love with her, I felt really bad because Dad introduced her to me… She began throwing up petals,” He heard his mother’s spoon drop on the floor, but he didn’t dare to look up at anyone. 

Winter came by quickly, and Kyungsoo was trying hard to save the tulips. It always grew difficult to take care of them as the weather grew colder and he wondered how he managed to maintain them last year. He decided that it was because Jongin was there to make up for Kyungsoo non-existent green fingers. 

He saw Jongin at a mall a week after finals. He would be graduating in two months, and felt nervous. His mother felt that it was essential to buy a suit because “nothing is going to ruin her baby’s graduation day”. He felt his heart beat a little faster, and he couldn’t decide if it was the tedious walking that day or the fact that Jongin probably didn’t know how incredibly cute he looked in his glasses and an oversized pink sweater. 

That night, his family had dinner together as usual. His mind was filled with thoughts of Jongin suddenly his stomach felt sick. 

Kyungsoo quickly excused himself from his family’s dinner table to the restroom. He felt his stomach churn, and he began to throw up. He looked at the toilet bowl and saw the beautiful, bright yellow tulip petals. They seemed to be glaring at him. He looked in the mirror and saw a tear flow down his cheek, and couldn’t control the hot tears that streamed after. He looked back at the petals and couldn’t help but smile sadly. Its beauty couldn’t compete with Jongin, though.


End file.
